I haven’t told this to anyone. My husband... hits me all the time. My entire body is bruised, but not my face, so no one can tell. Only my neighbors know, and they are discreet and don’t say anything. Not long ago I realized that he is taking drugs and drinks alcohol.... His friends don’t respect me, his son doesn’t respect me, and I don’t know how to get out of this living hell that I have been in for the past three years....

I am sad, and don’t know where to turn. I recite my prayers every day, but they are in vain.

Dear Friend,

We are so very sad to hear of the pain you have suffered at the hands of the one who promised to love and honor you. You trusted him, but he has broken his promises and has betrayed you. And yet you continue to be loyal to him, even helping him keep his awful secret. That, in turn, allows him to continue to abuse you.

When he covers up his abuse by never hitting you in the face, your husband proves that he can control himself if he wants to do so. But he may not want to control himself, because he may get some kind of perverted satisfaction from the power he has over you.

We believe that your life is in danger! If you have bruises all over your body already, it is just a matter of time until he hits and strikes harder than before. At any time you could suffer internal injuries from which you might never recover. Are you ready to sacrifice your life?

We advise you to find somewhere else to live until your husband gets counseling or takes classes to learn how to control his anger without resorting to violence. You, too, should look for a support group to help you learn how to prevent any abuse in the future. And instead of hiding what he has done to you, show your bruises to your family and friends so that they can support your decision to move out of the house.

There is no reason for you to be embarrassed; he is the one who should be ashamed. You probably love him in spite of the abuse, and you don’t want others to think badly of him. But for your safety and your future, you must stop covering up for him.

Some countries have laws that protect battered wives. We encourage you to pursue any legal options that will protect your life.

You mention that your recited prayers aren’t helping your situation. We believe that prayers that are memorized are not as effective as prayers that come from the heart. If you want to ask for God’s help, you should speak to Him in your own words. Invite His Son Jesus Christ to come into your heart, and then you will have a constant Friend to guide you in the difficult decisions that you must make. Ask Him to give you the wisdom and strength to do what you have to do in order to protect yourself.

We wish you well,

Linda and Charles

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