I had a girlfriend, and for various reasons we broke up. However, we did get back together one time and had sex, even though by then she had another boyfriend. She ended up pregnant and at first she said that her new boyfriend was the father, but then she said that the baby is mine. We had a lot of problems... so she distanced herself from me. But I reconstructed the exact dates... and in my heart I believe that the child is mine.

The little girl was born a few days ago, but my ex-girlfriend doesn’t want to let me have anything to do with the child, to give the baby my last name or be able to help them financially. I want to be close to my child, but I don’t know if I should file a paternity lawsuit and request a DNA test, or just forget the whole thing.

Dear Friend,

We congratulate you for realizing that this newborn baby needs a father, and for being willing to take responsibility if it turns out that you are the biological father. So many children in this world do not have a father who cares enough to advocate for them!

However, before we answer your question, we have some questions for you. Were you ever physically or mentally abusive with your ex-girlfriend? Are you addicted to drugs or alcohol? Do you engage in any criminal behaviors? If your answer is yes to any of these questions, then your ex-girlfriend is right to be protective of the child.

However, if your answer to all of our questions is no, then we believe that you should file a paternity lawsuit and request a DNA test so that there will be no doubt as to who the father is. The little baby girl didn’t do anything wrong, and she does not deserve a fatherless life.

Keep in mind that in most countries, once paternity is proven, the biological father becomes responsible to support the child up to adulthood. If this little baby is your child, then she becomes your primary responsibility. So we encourage you to take advantage of the legal options available to you in order to be able to spend as much time as possible with your daughter. And make sure that any future girlfriend knows that you have a child for whom you are emotionally and financially responsible, and that you will always consider that you are just as responsible for this child as for any future children you might have.

We hope that you have learned from this situation that it is very unwise to have sex before marriage. God loves you, loves your ex-girlfriend, and certainly loves this little girl. But He knows that your child faces years of turmoil and struggle because her parents cannot get along. He knows the anguish and insecurity that she will face, all because her parents could not control themselves. We recommend that you ask God to forgive you for your sin and to give you a new chance to follow His plan for your life. Ask Him to give you wisdom and help for the difficult days ahead.

We wish you the best,

Linda

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