My girlfriend and I had been in a relationship for four years when I met another woman and was unfaithful with her. I confessed the infidelity to my girlfriend because I love her, so I asked her to forgive me to get things right between us again. But within a short time the other woman told me that she was pregnant. I couldn’t just leave her to make it on her own, because she was expecting my first child. So we began to live together, but I never stopped seeing my girlfriend... because I love her.

After my first child was a year old, my girlfriend got pregnant. I was happier than ever about the child, but didn’t know what to do because I was living with the other woman.... When my girlfriend was eight months pregnant, the other woman got pregnant again. She was hiding it from me, and left my house because we had a hard time getting along. My girlfriend found out that I had another baby... and she forgave me, but the other woman keeps coming around. Even though I distanced myself from her, she won’t let me have a stable relationship with my girlfriend. Now my girlfriend is pulling away, and I don’t want that because I love her. What can I do?

Dear Friend,

You definitely need some good advice, but you have waited until it is too late for a happy ending. You have already made so many bad choices that you cannot expect to ever have a stress-free family life.

You don’t really say much about the happiness of those three little children that have you as a father. Do they have enough to eat, clothes to wear, and a good education waiting for them? Do they feel the love of their father every day, a love that can make them feel secure and safe? They are not too young to feel your love.

We have no advice for how you can get your girlfriend to stay with you. Why should she? You have cheated on her too many times. Why should she trust you?

And no wonder the other woman keeps coming around. She has two of your children to support and care for. Are you providing for them, both financially and emotionally?

You have lived your life in an impulsive way, not caring about the consequences of your actions. So there is nothing you can do to take away those consequences that you now face. Instead, it is time to “man up” and devote your time and energy to being a father. If you are convinced that you can be faithful to your girlfriend for a lifetime, then marry her. But make sure that she agrees that you will care for your other two children financially and emotionally, in an equal way that you care for her child.

You have a difficult time ahead of you. But your Heavenly Father loves you in spite of your actions, and is willing to forgive you of your sins if you will call out to Him. He can give you peace and joy during the journey, but He will not take away the consequences.

We wish you the best,

Linda

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