I have been married for six years and have a five‑year‑old daughter and a two‑year‑old son. Ever since our first year of marriage, my husband has hit me for any reason at all, even once when I was pregnant.
We have talked about it many times. He always tells me that he will change, but then he does it all over again and my children see it all. I have thought of leaving with my children, but he always convinces me that he is going to change. Because of this, I feel like I don’t love him and don’t want to be with him anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe it’s the result of all his aggression toward me.
We are still together, but nothing has changed. The last time I had my son in my arms when he hit me. Once again, he promised he would change; but I’m afraid that the next time something worse will happen. What should I do?
Dear Friend,
We chose your case this week because your life is in danger! There is no time for you to continue to worry about what you should do. You must act now! Take your children and get away from this man who has proven over and over that he is a danger to you and to them. Do it today!
We don’t know what the laws of your country are, but if possible, take out a restraining order to keep your husband from coming near you. Then, find an attorney who can represent you in court so that your husband will have to continue to financially support your children. If you don’t have family members who can help keep you safe, many cities have shelters for battered women.
When you explained that you don’t feel love for your husband anymore, you wrote these words to us, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” There is nothing wrong with you! God gives human beings, and even animals, the instinct of self-preservation. What you feel is that instinct. And that instinct is shouting to you, “I don’t want to be hurt anymore! I want to protect myself and my precious children! This man is dangerous!”
Statistics overwhelmingly show that men who batter their wives cannot stop by themselves. They need professional help. Your husband probably does not intend to keep hurting you, and his promises are probably heartfelt and honest. But those promises have not been enough to make him stop, and his aggression is obviously escalating. He has hit you even while you were holding your son. He will not stop! It will only get worse! You must take us very seriously and leave today.
We are sure that this advice will make you anxious about the future and of what will happen to you and your children without your husband. Have you heard the true story of David, the young man who went out to fight with the giant Goliath? Everyone else was afraid to face Goliath, but David said to him, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty…”(1) David was not afraid of what would happen because he had a personal relationship with God and knew that God would fight for him.
Do you have a personal relationship with God? Have you prayed and asked that His Son Jesus Christ come into your heart and be your Savior? If so, He will not only save your soul from sin, but will also be with you and fight for you in all the difficult times you have ahead of you. He wants to be your best friend, the One you can count on when you are lonely or afraid. He wants to give you wisdom for the hard decisions you have in the future. He will give you the help and the strength you will need to face the giants in your life.
We wish you peace and safety,
Linda and Charles
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1 1Sa 17:45