A few years ago, I beat my son, harshly punishing him. He was six years old, and when his mom saw the bruises, she reported me for child abuse. I was sentenced to six years in jail.
This month, not having any information about my son, I went to his mom’s workplace to find out about him, but she immediately pressed charges, alleging that I made a scene in the street and at her workplace. But that was a lie, a false accusation.
I feel very sad and alone, and I don’t know what I should do. I ask God for answers…. I don’t want to be in jail behind bars. I have changed. God is my witness!
Dear Friend,
You are absolutely right. God does witness everything! He not only knows about everything that has happened, but He also knows the condition of our hearts. Those who think that they can hide their secrets from Him are deceiving only themselves.
God also knows about your son and the physical and emotional damage that he has suffered. You didn’t mention any concern about him or how he might feel. We have no way of knowing the long-term effects of abuse that he may still be dealing with, and you apparently don’t know that either.
If you truly love your son, your primary concern should be what is best for him. He is the victim in this story, not you. God is not going to help you to do anything that would be bad for an innocent child, so don’t expect Him to prioritize your needs over your son’s needs.
Instead of praying that God will give you what you want, we suggest that you pray that God will heal your son of the trauma he suffered and make him healthy emotionally and physically. And pray that he will not suffer from anxiety or nightmares.
We also suggest that you consult an attorney with respect to any rights you may still have to see your son. Do not try to have any contact with your son’s mother except for what the attorney advises.
Are we advising you to give up hope of ever having a relationship with your son? No, we are not. Someday he will be an adult, and you may have a chance to contact him. What kind of man do you want to be for him to meet at that time?
We advise you to work hard to become the kind of father that your son will want to know. God can help you with that. He not only forgives our sins and comes into our lives when we ask Him to, but also wants to walk beside us each day, soothing our loneliness and giving us purpose. So ask Him to show you His will for your life, and to guide you in everything that you do. And ask Him to make you ready, when the time comes, to be the father that your son needs.
We wish you well,
Linda