My wife and I have been married for four years. The first years were full of happiness and love, but doubts and distrust started to arise on her part toward me—questioning if I’ve been intimate with another woman…. I have spoken to her heart in hand, and have even begged her on my knees to believe me….
She is the woman I love, and I’ve always told her so… but she doesn’t understand… telling me instead that we rushed into marriage…. to which I again tell her that what matters to me is the love I feel for her….
I will never stop trying to do everything I can to make us the beautiful couple we once were. That’s why I’m reaching out to you this way for help.
Dear Friend,
We are very sorry to hear about the difficulties in your relationship. Unfortunately, many marriages go through this kind of conflict and instability, so you are definitely not alone. We congratulate you for being willing to work on your relationship rather than giving up, as many do.
Our problem in knowing how to help you is that we know nothing about how you and your wife treat each other or communicate with each other. You say that you would like to return to being a “beautiful couple” as you once were, but we don’t know if she believes, like you do, that your beginning years were beautiful, or if, on the contrary, she believes that your marriage had its problems from the very beginning.
You also say that your wife doubts your faithfulness to her. In order for her to think that, there must be times when you are not together with her and she doesn’t know where you are. Do you often get together with friends without your wife being with you? Do you go directly home from work, or do you stop along the way? When are the occasions that she thinks you have time to be unfaithful? You may be totally innocent of everything that she has imagined, but if she doesn’t know where you are, there is more cause for her to wonder.
Because you say that you are willing to do anything to make your marriage work, we recommend that you let your wife track your phone or check it periodically so that she can know where you are at all times. If you have nothing to hide, it shouldn’t matter to you.
We also recommend that you search for an organization that offers marriage counseling, possibly with groups of couples, or for just the two of you. Many larger churches have groups for couples, so that would be a good place to start. A church where there are true followers of Christ could also give you spiritual help and prove to be a blessing. Jesus Christ, God’s Son, cares about your life and your marriage, and He can lead and guide you if you let Him. We advise you to go and seek help even if your wife refuses to accompany you.
We wish you well,
Linda