My husband left me for another woman, but then left her because she deceived him. I have worked hard to restore our marriage because I love him and because our son needs us to stay together, but my husband keeps rejecting me. My son needs him, but I can’t make my husband come back home. They need each other, and I… want to die. Since I’m the one that’s keeping them apart, if I disappeared, the two of them could be together.
God knows how hard I have worked and how tired I am, so I know He won’t judge me.
We are so sorry for the situation in which you find yourself! The emotional pain that you are suffering is great, and you need comfort and support from people who love you. Is there a friend or family member who might be able to give you emotional support? Please find someone who cares about you today and ask for their help.
Your extreme anguish is keeping you from thinking clearly. Your husband has left you, and he has left another woman as well. What makes you think he would not someday leave your son? What if he found yet a different woman who didn’t like your son? What if he decided that the woman was more important than the boy? Who would your son have then, if you had “disappeared”? It is extremely important that you realize how much your child needs you! Do not even consider taking your own life! If the idea of suicide keeps coming into your thoughts, please see a doctor immediately and tell him what you are thinking. You may need medication for a while to help you think more clearly.
You say that God would not judge you for killing yourself because of how hard you have worked to do the right thing. Like you, many people believe that their positive actions, their hard work, and their good decisions are what will get them a free pass from God. They believe that God will measure the good in their lives against the bad. Since the good will outweigh the bad, they are convinced that God will overlook the bad and not judge them for it.
That kind of reasoning sounds logical, but it is not what the Bible teaches about God’s forgiveness. The Apostle Paul taught that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”1 And he also taught that “the wages of sin is death.”2 Since the punishment for any sin at all is eternal death, and since every one of us has sinned, then it follows that we all deserve the punishment of death for our sins, in spite of all the good we might have done.
But that’s only part of the story. The best part is that God loved us so much that He arranged for His own Son to pay the punishment for our sin, so we don’t have to. Jesus Christ died for all your sins and for all our sins.
However, we have to accept the payment that Christ made for us. In prayer, we can ask God to forgive our sins and to accept Christ’s death on the cross as the payment for all the bad that we have done. Then God will forgive us, not because of the good that we have done, but because of what Christ did for us.
Remember that God loves you very much and that your son needs you,
Linda and Charles
1 Ro 3:23
2 Ro 6:23