I am struggling with my vices, which are the Internet, pornography, and sexual desires…. It’s a struggle in which I always fail. So I’m sending this message in order to receive a response from you…
You have taken the first step, which is admitting that you have a problem, and the second step, which is realizing that you are actually controlled by sexual temptation. However, even though these steps are the beginning of a process toward recovery, you have been unable to keep the cycle from repeating itself again and again, so you feel hopeless. And without hope, almost any problem can be overwhelming.
In case number seven, we detailed some specific actions that should be taken by anyone who wants to overcome an addiction to pornography. We suggest that you search for case number seven and begin to put the list into practice.
In addition, we recommend that you install software on your computer that will keep you accountable. There are programs that will automatically log the websites that you visit and will send the log to an accountability partner who you have enlisted to help you. Then, every time you are tempted to go to a pornographic site, you will have the powerful deterrent of wanting to avoid the embarrassing notification that would be sent to your accountability partner. Knowing that your actions won’t be a secret will help you resist. If you really want to quit as much as you say that you do, then you will enlist an accountability partner and purchase the software; if you have excuses for why either of these is impossible, then it is certain that you don’t really want to win this battle.
The desire to look at pornography is a hunger that can never be satisfied. No matter how much someone sees, he always wants to see more. It is never enough. People who are addicted to pornography can isolate themselves from their loved ones and even lose their jobs because they hopelessly keep trying to fill the insatiable hunger inside them.
However, we have hope for you! The apostle James gave us a prescription to follow. He said, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.”1 Submitting to God means talking to Him and asking for His help. It means asking His Son, Jesus Christ, to forgive your sins and to give you a brand new life. Coming near to God means letting Him change your life from the inside out as you daily build a relationship with Him. Resisting the devil is an active phrase that implies making a plan of resistance and following through with it every day. As your daily activities and actions focus more on what God would want from you, the resisting will get easier.
We wish you well,
1 Jas 4:7