I had a boyfriend for four years…. We had problems, and he decided to break up with me. A year ago he came back to me, sorry for having left, and I was weak and took him back. Once again we had problems, and he left me for another woman. Two months ago he came back, and I believed him again. I feel rotten and frustrated because, when we get back together, we start having sex again, and sometimes I think that he is using me and he only wants me for that.
I don’t know what to do! My self-esteem has hit rock bottom. I am twenty-five years old and I feel alone, and at times I even lose the desire to go on living. I am afraid of never finding someone to love me, and he has been the only love of my life. I’ve been tied up in this relationship for seven years, with him always leaving me and me taking him back.
You say you don’t know what to do, but that is not true. You do know what to do, but you are writing to us, hoping that we will suggest a different option. What’s more, everyone who hears or reads your story will know what you should do. Throw the guy out and tell him to never contact you again!
It’s no wonder your self-esteem is suffering. You have allowed him to disrespect you over and over, so now you can’t respect yourself. You have let yourself be taken in by his lies and promises, and he has responded by repeatedly trampling your confidence and trust in the dirt. You have followed your emotions rather than listening to reason. It’s time to break the cycle and start fresh!
Women who allow themselves to be used as convenient sexual partners will almost always have low self-esteem. They give their bodies hoping for love, while guys promise love so that they can get a sexual relationship in return. But when sex is saved for marriage, as the Bible teaches, instead of being two different things, love and sex are intertwined. God’s plan is for sex to be an expression of love that is sacred between a man and a woman who have promised to spend their lives with one another.
Do you really want to have a future just like the last seven years? Do you want to get pregnant, have a child or two, and still have him running around with other women? That’s what many women have chosen to do because they were afraid of facing the future alone. They end up spending a lifetime regretting their decision.
We recommend that you consult Cases 210 and 250 for more ideas that might help you to begin again. It’s not too late. Start today!
We wish you well,