When I found out my wife was pregnant, I promised [God] that I would not break my marriage vow to be faithful to her. But I failed her, and she has had a very difficult pregnancy….
[Now she] is just about to lose the baby. Only a miracle will save the child; but I am convinced that breaking a promise to God is the worst thing you can do. When you promise God something, it is serious business.
Before anything else, we sincerely hope that you have the miracle you asked for and that your baby is well. We can’t even imagine the anguish that you and your wife are experiencing. Unfortunately, many other couples know exactly how you feel.
Regarding your situation, you are absolutely right about one thing and absolutely wrong about another. You are right that our actions bring about consequences. Your unfaithfulness brings dishonesty and mistrust into your marriage. Your unfaithfulness brings hurt and sorrow to your wife. And your unfaithfulness brings disaster into the life of the other woman, even if she does not end up having a child as a result of your relationship. If another child is created, then the hurt and pain of dealing with two competing women (as well as with a completely innocent child put into the middle) will be with you for the rest of your life.
So you are right about consequences; but what are you wrong about? You are completely wrong when you believe that God would make your wife and child suffer because you broke a promise to Him. Before Jesus Christ came to earth, God did judge according to the Law of the Old Testament. People who lived by that Law did die as punishment for wrongdoing. And in order to be saved from the punishment for their sins, they sacrificed animals. But then God sent His Son Jesus Christ into the world to take the punishment for all future people. Jesus was punished once and for all, so that God would not have to punish us, and so that animal sacrifices would never again be needed.
When Jesus died on the cross, He was dying as punishment for our sins and for yours. We asked God to forgive our sins, and you can ask Him too. All you have to do is talk to him through prayer. Tell Him you are sorry for your sins and that you accept His Son’s death on the cross as punishment for what you have done. He will forgive you. Then, because you are grateful for what Christ did for you on the cross, you will do your best to make future decisions based on His teachings. As you communicate with God through prayer and reading the Bible, you will discover that He is not the vengeful, hostile judge that you have imagined. Instead, you will find that He is the God who loved you so much that He was willing give His only Son to die for you.1
Your baby is not in danger because of your sin; your baby is in danger because human bodies are subject to sickness, caused by germs, diseases, and chemical imbalances. It is tragic when anyone dies from an illness or infection, but it is especially difficult when it is a child. God grieves with you and understands your pain, for He knows what it is like to see a child suffer and die.
We wish you peace with God,
Linda and Charles
1 Jn 3:16