I am a twenty-one-year-old girl…. I believe that I am going crazy. I can’t sleep, and I do things I don’t want to do. It is a challenge to keep going each day. On a number of occasions, I have tried to commit suicide, and I often think about taking my own life. I need help. I am desperate!
Thank you for trusting us enough to tell us your story. It sounds like you are suffering all the time, and it is logical to want the pain to stop. You have considered and attempted suicide as a way of making the pain stop, but we believe it is God who has prevented you from succeeding in your attempts. He loves you and wants to help you, and somewhere in your subconscious mind, you know that.
God loves every one of us so much that He was willing to sacrifice His Son on the cross so that we could have eternal life. In addition, God has a plan for each person and has appointed a time for them to die.1 When people kill themselves, they forcefully change that appointed time, and forcefully decide to do things their own way. But all the time God is working in their lives to prevent it from happening. In some cases, like yours, there is something in the subconscious mind that responds to God’s efforts to help. In other cases, the person does not respond to God, and since they have free will, they do succeed in ending their lives here on earth.
Clinical depression is one of the major contributing factors to attempted suicide. Clinical depression is much more than just feeling depressed for a few days. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain that prevents the person from being able to have hope for the future or the present. A person who is clinically depressed cannot be “talked” out of the condition any more than a person with high blood pressure can be talked out of having high blood pressure. Both clinical depression and high blood pressure are medical conditions, and the people who suffer from these conditions need medical treatment.
You need to go and see a doctor immediately. You cannot make yourself get better, and your feeling of desperation is dangerous. Please do whatever is necessary to go to the doctor and tell him or her everything that you have told us. Then follow the doctor’s instructions even if you don’t feel that it is necessary, and don’t stop the treatment just because it takes months to begin feeling better. You cannot trust your own feelings right now, so please just trust our advice and follow through with what the doctor says.
We care about you, but your Heavenly Father cares even more. Even though you don’t feel like it, tell yourself repeatedly every day “God loves me, my friends at “conciencia” love me, and I can make it another day.” Please write to us in a month to let us know how you are doing.
We wish you well,
1 Ps 139:16