I have had a boyfriend for nine years, and I love him very much, which is why I think I put up with so much. I have had problems with his mother over insignificant issues. She meddles in his business all the time. He yelled at me in front of her, and disrespected me by using very foul language. He also has two sisters who interfere in his life…. He lives with one of them, who takes care of him.

We have had plans to get married, but one or the other of us always comes up with excuses. I wanted to finish college, and he wanted to have money for the wedding; but in the end we couldn’t agree on that subject. He is bad tempered. He gets angry and yells about everything. I, on the other hand, am very patient and trusting. I do have the dream and hope of making a life with him, but I don’t know how to handle so many issues…. The situation is tormenting me, and I feel very depressed and sad; but it’s like God is giving me strength to stay with my boyfriend in spite of everything.

Dear Friend,

Why in the world would you want to marry a guy like you describe? He treats you badly. He is bad tempered and angry. He prefers his mother and sisters. And he has to be “taken care of” by a sister, implying that he can’t take care of himself.

Are you desperate for a husband? Do you value yourself so little that you think no other man will marry you? Have you been with this guy so long that you feel marriage to him is inevitable?

Please, break up with your boyfriend today! Do not waste another day on him. You have wasted nine years, and that is already far too much. When a guy treats a girl badly before marriage, he will certainly treat her ten times worse after marriage. When a family interferes with a romance before the wedding, they will interfere much more after the wedding. And when a man can’t take care of himself but needs his sister to take care of him, he is not ready to take care of a wife.

You say that it is as if God has given you the strength to go on with the relationship in spite of the problems. Yes, God gives us strength. But don’t blame God for keeping you in this very negative relationship. God wants you to be loved and cherished and treated with respect. He loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. But you must trust your future to Him and not to some unrealistic dream. Ask His Son Jesus Christ to be your Guide and Savior.

We wish you well,