I met a man on the Internet who is three years older than I am. All of the time that we communicated he let me know that he loved me and that he was a levelheaded guy. So I left everything and went to be with him. After arriving at his house, I found out that nothing was the way he had led me to believe. He is addicted to pornography and to both virtual and real sexual relationships. He is married and not yet separated from his wife, though they live in different cities.
I have tried many things, but I cannot end my relationship with him. He says that he loves me, but he hasn’t stopped having sexual relations with other women.
Dear Friend,
Your situation is a solemn reminder of why you cannot trust anyone that you meet on the Internet. This man deceived you and convinced you to leave behind your friends and family so that you could live with him and be his slave.
However, since he may not have locked you in the house, you don’t seem to realize that you are his slave. But you do say that you want to end the relationship, and yet you can’t. Why can’t you? Is it because he continues to tell you more lies or to promise you that he will change? Or is it because he has brainwashed you into believing that you love him and that you have a future with him?
When this man says that he loves you, what does that mean? It is obvious that it doesn’t mean that he wants to marry you, or even be in an exclusive relationship with you. Nor does it mean that he is willing to sacrifice anything for your happiness, or that he treasures you or values you above all the others. It just means that he knows how to say the magic words that will make you stay with him.
In order to stay with this man, you have had to ignore the rational part of your brain. That part of you keeps yelling, “Get away! Danger! Run!” Yet you have stayed.
You have also ignored your conscience. It keeps telling you, “This is wrong! Don’t do what he wants!” But you keep doing what he wants anyway.
You have clearly ignored the truth. It is plain to anyone who hears your story that he is no good for you and that you are putting your health in danger by continuing to have a physical relationship with him. But you seem to be blinded to the truth.
There is Someone who really loves you and wants what’s best for you. He will never lie to you or deceive you. He is your Heavenly Father. He loved you so much that He was willing to sacrifice His only Son so that you could be forgiven for all your sins. He values you so much that He will forgive you and help you. All you have to do is ask Him in prayer.
Ask God to lead you to someone who will help you make a plan for your future. It could be a family member or someone from a Bible-believing church. Tell that person all the truth about your circumstances so that you can have someone to help you carry out your plan. With God’s help and that person’s help, you should be able to get away from the man you are living with.
We wish you the best,
Linda