I am fifteen years old, and one night when there was a party I went to a friend’s house without my parents’ knowing that I was gone. From there I left with a boy in his car, but nothing happened. He is a friend from school, and we just went for a ride…. I got back home at ten in the morning.

Now I am grounded for a long time, and my family doesn’t trust me at all. I am desperate! The only thing I want is for them to forgive me, to believe me that I would never fail them again, that they are the most important people in my life. I cry every day because they also won’t let me be with my friends whom I miss a lot…. I have never been so sorry I made a mistake as I am now. Help me, please!

Dear Friend,

We are very glad that you are fine and that the boy you were with did not take advantage of you. Any other guy could very well have believed that you wanted to be alone with him because you were willing to have something happen. Many young people today mistakenly think that sex is nothing more than an activity to do with friends, so you are fortunate that the boy from your school didn’t turn out to want that kind of friend.

You made an extremely dangerous decision to go with the boy in his car, and your parents are understandably upset. They are frightened to think of what could have happened. You are their treasure, and they must protect you no matter how difficult that is for you.

You showed your parents that you might lack the ability to make wise decisions. By giving you severe consequences, they want to make sure that you remember for a long time, and that this memory causes you to make better decisions in the future.

Unfortunately for you, studies show that the brains of teenagers are not fully developed and that most teenagers do not have the brain function necessary to make good decisions. So you can blame your brain for this trouble that you are in! However, that means that your parents must continue to provide rules that will keep you safe, even though you believe that you have learned your lesson already.

You are not alone! It is our human nature to make mistakes and to do things that we know are wrong. Even the Apostle Paul had that problem. He said that he kept on doing the bad things that he didn’t want to do.(1)

God knew that we would make bad choices and that we would do bad things, even when we didn’t plan to or want to. That’s why He sent Jesus Christ, His only Son, to die on the cross for our sins. God is always willing to forgive us if we ask Him in Jesus’ name. So ask God to forgive you for your sins and to help you make wise decisions in the future. Then you will be able to show your parents that they can trust you.

We wish you the best,

1 Ro 7:19b