I am a twenty-year old girl…. I met a guy at work and chose to be his girlfriend even though he did not share my principles. He promised to change, but that never happened…. I was not happy. My conscience would not leave me in peace. He induced me to do things that I had never done before…. I spent more than a year like that, far from God internally, until the day I decided to leave him….

I have stayed far away from him for four months now, but he considers me the lowest of the low. He says I left him for no reason…. He insists that his hardships are my fault. I feel desperate…. Did I do the right thing?

Dear Friend,

Congratulations! You have shown that you are stronger and smarter than many other women. You initially made a bad choice, but then you came to your senses and listened to your conscience.

Unfortunately, many women are so desperate to have a man in their lives that they ignore the voice of their conscience. The desperate woman ignores the guy’s abuse and manipulation. Like you, she does things that she never wanted to do. She makes the choice to believe the guy’s lies and to ignore all the ways that he treats her badly. Sometimes she begins to see herself as unworthy of a better relationship. If she makes the mistake of having sexual intimacy with the guy, she then feels that he is emotionally bound to her. As time goes on, she becomes weaker and less able to think rationally. The desperation grows, and she feels more and more hopeless and helpless.

But you are different. You broke away from the guy’s blatant manipulation and abuse. You were strong enough to listen to your own conscience instead of listening to his lies. You were smart enough to make better choices and to change your entire future. And now you ask if you were correct in leaving him. The answer is yes!

God made your conscience to be your greatest source of direction. However, the voice of the conscience eventually fades away if we repeatedly ignore it. We are thankful that the voice of your conscience was still strong enough to get you out of that destructive relationship.

God loves you very much, and even has a plan for your life. His plan is that you have peace and joy, and definitely not that you have a man who considers you the lowest of the low, or a man who convinces you to do things that you know are wrong. Ask God to guide you each day and to help you discern the character of the men you meet. Make the determination to never even go out with a guy until you are sure that he shares your values and beliefs. If you follow through with that determination, you will spare yourself years of emotional pain and regret.

We wish you the best,