My boyfriend left me for another woman. She had more money than I do, so I got very jealous. I tried different methods to forget about him, but I couldn’t.
I started getting drunk, and now when I see him I follow him. But when I arrive at his house, he hits me hard. He has even broken my hand. I hope that Christ can forgive me.
You describe multiple problems in just a few sentences: a broken heart, jealousy, drunkenness, a lack of wisdom, questions about God, and very low self-esteem. We wish that we could give you some advice about each of these issues, but our program is too short. Please follow up by going to our website and reading Cases 270 and 417. We suggest that you also read all of the Cases in the categories of Infatuation and Jealousy.
You say that you have been unable to forget your boyfriend. We don’t know all the methods you have tried, but getting drunk is like banging your head against the wall to stop a headache. Not only doesn’t it work, but it also makes things worse. People under the influence of alcohol or drugs lose any ability that they normally would have to think rationally. But in your case it is even worse because you have repeatedly put yourself into the same dangerous situation. If you cannot stop drinking, please find and begin attending a recovery group, and use all your energy to break the hold that alcohol has on you.
Unfortunately, the majority of people in the world experience heartbreak at some time or other. But most people have respect for themselves and, after an initial emotional meltdown, begin to think rationally. In your case, however, you have allowed your emotions to override all reason and logic. You have believed that you could change the situation by demonstrating how devastated you are. The sad reality is that your actions have deteriorated any respect that your ex-boyfriend may have once had for you. It’s past time to accept the truth that nothing you can do or say will make him change his mind. So cut him out of your thoughts and out of your plans. If you can’t, then you need to see a professional counselor who can help you.
The good news that we have for you is that there is Someone who loves you very much and will not give up on you no matter what you have done! As to your hope that Jesus Christ can forgive you, we want you to know that He not only can forgive you, but wants to do it. In fact, Jesus died on the cross to pay for all of your sin. First ask Him for forgiveness, and then begin the process of following Him. He will give you wisdom for the future, and will never leave you nor betray you.
We wish you the best,