One day my wife of six years told me privately that she wanted us to separate. She said she wanted her part of what belonged to us. I gave her everything just as she asked. It didn’t matter to her that taking half of our business would ruin me. I gave it to her anyway.
With time, she lost it all… Then I asked her to come back home. I am very aware that she doesn’t love me. She has told me so many times. But now my son is happy again.
Is it worth keeping this home together when I am the only one with love in my heart? How far should I be willing to go for the love of my family…?
Dear Friend,
We congratulate you for being a man of character, more concerned about the welfare of your child than of yourself. This is a rare trait in the times we live in. It is commendable that are willing to sacrifice your own happiness so that your son can grow up happy.
You asked us the question, “How far should I be willing to go for the love of my family?” Many people who follow these cases each week have asked themselves that very question. The difference is that you have already shown that you are willing to pay a high price for the love of your family. Many other people cannot say that because they have acted as if their own feelings are the most important factor to consider. But you have put aside your own feelings for your son. The world would be a much better place if there were more people like you!
Has your wife behaved badly? Certainly! In no way do we justify her actions. Has this been an incredibly hard ordeal for you? No doubt. But you have wisely perceived that your son should not have to suffer for the mistakes of his mother.
The character that you have shown in being able to forgive, forgive again, and forgive some more, is just like our Heavenly Father. In fact, there is a story that is in the Bible because God wanted to teach us about how forgiving He is, and how willing He is to take us back when we have hurt Him repeatedly. The story is about Hosea, who married a woman that repeatedly left him and their three children and was even unfaithful to him. But God told Hosea, “Go, show your love to your wife again,”(1) and Hosea did it, perhaps because God told him to, and perhaps because he knew it would be better for his children.
Many people claim that they love God. They ask Him for favors and call on Him when they’re in trouble, but they have never been devoted to Him. They have never loved Him enough to make Him an important part of their daily lives. Instead, they use Him to meet their own needs, just like your wife is doing to you. And yet God is still willing to love them and ready to have a personal relationship with them. He will forgive their sins when they ask, because of the sacrifice of Jesus, His Son, on the cross.
Your wife may not have asked for your forgiveness. And she may not have acknowledged that her actions were wrong. But when you keep loving her and showing her kindness, you are setting a godly example for your son. And by the time he becomes a man, your wife may have changed her attitude and her actions because of the love you have shown her.
We wish you happiness!
Linda and Charles
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1 Hos 3:1