My husband and I have had a lot of problems…. He has been out of control. [For a long time he has been lying to me and has been] unfaithful to me, and he only wants to be out with his friends and doing God knows what else. Now, after more than eight years of marriage, he says that our relationship has never worked… and that if I want to stay with him I have to understand that he is young and he is making no promises to be faithful to me….
He is determined that we separate. I think that my difficulty to bear children is what he is the most tired of. I just want everything to be all right and for God to give me a child that I want so much.
Dear Friend,
We are so very sorry for the emotional pain that you are going through! You are trying to make the best of an impossible situation. You seem to believe that if you wish and dream and pray enough, you can convert your hopeless situation into a happy family.
Even though your husband is a horrible husband and would very likely be a horrible father, you want God to give you a child with such a man. You want a child who would have to grow up with an immature and irresponsible and likely absent father. That child would suffer just as you are currently suffering. Is that what you want for your child?
Please stop trying to have a baby with this man! You are endangering your health. He has been unfaithful, and could likely give you a serious or even incurable disease.
You are wasting your time with your husband. He wants to get away from you, so let him go. According to Jesus Christ’s teaching, unrepentant infidelity is a justifiable reason for divorce.(1) If your husband were sorry and didn’t want to be unfaithful again, we would encourage you to stay with him and try to make your marriage better. But he is not sorry, and does not plan to do any differently. So you are endangering your health and your future by staying with him.
Your situation is a perfect example of why God sometimes says “no” to our prayers. You, like many women, think that a child would love you and meet the desperate needs that you have. You think that your husband might look into the eyes of his son or daughter and suddenly see the error of his ways and become a loving husband and father. But that almost never happens. Instead, women end up being single parents, and children end up with a huge void in their lives. Read cases 381, 376, and 216 at message2conscience.com to find out what happened to other women who have asked for our help in a similar situation.
According to the Apostle Paul, when we love and trust God, and follow His way, we can be confident that He will work out everything for our good.(2) It’s time for you to start over, and this time, ask God to guide and help you.
We wish you the best,
Linda
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1 Mt 19:9
2 Ro 8:28