From our childhood on, my sister and I shared everything. She was a little older than I am, and was like a mother to me. Nevertheless, as a brainless traitor, I misspent her hard-earned money on a lost property…. Then, when she needed to get over an illness, I couldn’t help her. I caused her to lose her resources when she needed them most, so I had to take her to a public hospital where she got worse because of an infection, and died. I feel responsible, guilty of the loss of her life because of having taken her to that hospital.
Now the voice of my conscience is making me to suffer, but it’s too late to do anything about it. I hope God will forgive me!
Although we cannot be certain about many details of your story, you make it clear that your conscience is bothering you. However, because of your grief, you are confused about what you are actually guilty of having done.
There are two different things that you now believe were detrimental to your sister: You spent her money unwisely, causing her financial hardship, and then you took her to a public hospital.
You seem to be convinced that the public hospital was the cause of your sister’s death. Unfortunately, people get infections and die in all kinds of hospitals. Yes, infections can be more common in certain hospitals and, yes, overcrowded conditions and too few doctors can contribute to unhealthy conditions. However, you absolutely cannot know that your sister’s health would have improved in a different hospital, and you cannot know that she would have lived. You may be absolutely convinced that you know for sure that you taking her to that hospital was the cause of her death, but you are thinking with your emotions, and your emotions cannot be trusted.
Even though we do not believe that it is rational to blame yourself for your sister’s untimely death, we certainly do believe that you should feel guilty for having mishandled her financial resources. You were wrong, and now your conscience won’t let you forget it. But do not confuse that with your sister’s death.
So what can we do when we’ve done something very destructive to someone, but we can never repair the damage? The first step is to ask God for His forgiveness. His Son Jesus Christ actually died on the cross to pay the penalty for all of our sins. So your sin against your sister can be cancelled, just like all your other sins, by asking for forgiveness in Jesus’ name. Then ask God to take away the guilt and to clear your conscience.
What can you do now to make it up to your sister? You can help others in your sister’s name. Donate your time to help the less fortunate, and donate money to causes that you believe in. You can make your world a better place because of the love you had for your sister. That would have made her very happy.
We wish you the best,