I am a twenty-five-year-old woman. Ever since I was a little girl, my parents brought me up in an atmosphere of lies….
Five and a half years ago I began a relationship with a guy… but he eventually broke it off because I lied to him… and I am very sorry for my attitude. Will he ever be able to forgive me? I think that, more than anything, this brings me condemnation for the sin of lying, but it is really hard for me to tell the truth. I need another chance, but I can see that everything has gotten very complicated. I had plans and projects for a future together because I still love him very much, but my lies put an end to it all.
Dear Friend,
I understand how difficult it is to break the habit of lying. In Case 43 at message2conscience.com you can read about my personal experience.
You ask us if your boyfriend will ever be able to forgive you. And then you say that you need another chance. We don’t know if he will ever forgive you, but even if he does, he may not give you another chance. You betrayed him by lying, and in so doing proved yourself to be untrustworthy. Therefore, we can understand why he might feel that it would be too risky to give you another chance.
Can you, however, stop lying? Can you become trustworthy and ready for another serious relationship? Yes, you can! But it will require a change in your priorities.
Right now, you are focused on how to get your boyfriend back. That is the wrong priority. Instead, you need to give all your attention to the effort of becoming trustworthy, not because of any man, but because you understand that lying can poison all your relationships, including those with your friends and family.
How can you become trustworthy? You must tell the truth one hundred percent of the time. If you tell the truth almost all the time, with just an occasional lie in a difficult situation, can you be trusted? Unfortunately, no. It only takes one lie to plant doubt in someone’s mind. You must determine to tell the truth in every situation, no matter what. Then if you do, after a while the truth will become a habit and a new way of life.
Just as only one lie can make any one of us untrustworthy, it only takes one sin to separate us from God. Since every human has sinned, each one is separated from God. That is why He sent His Son Jesus Christ to pay the penalty for our sins. When we ask God to forgive us, and we acknowledge that Christ already paid the penalty (1), we can be forgiven and restored to relationship with Him. That relationship is what we need to assure us of eternal life. So ask God to forgive you and to restore you to relationship with Him. And then pray that He will help you to make sure that every word that comes out of your mouth is the truth.
We wish you the best,
Linda
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1 Ro 3:23-24