I have been in a relationship with a girl for six years…. Two years ago, I met another girl… and I’m not sure when I began to have feelings for her. My mistake was to let it go on and not stop it from the start.
I broke up with my first girlfriend. We had had plans to get married. I jilted her a few months before the wedding and it hurt a lot to leave her. I felt miserable for having broken the heart of a good woman. She didn’t want it to end, and I didn’t have the courage to tell her the truth about my new relationship…. When we saw each other face to face, we couldn’t contain the emotion and we got back together.
Now I don’t know what to do. I am in two different relationships at the same time. I feel like I am despicable and selfish for deceiving, lying, and making them unhappy without me.
I tried to break up with both of them, but neither will accept any excuses. If I told them the truth, my world would end because I would be leaving a part of my heart with each one of them.
You are right when you say that you should have put a stop to the relationship with your second girlfriend before it had time to become a courtship. But you were attracted to the girl and you let your emotions rule over logical thinking.
At some point you decided that you preferred the second girlfriend, because you broke it off with the first one. But then you say that your emotions got the better of you when you saw the first one again, so once more you did what you logically knew that you should not. Score two for letting your emotions rule. Score zero for logical decision making.
You say you feel despicable and selfish for deceiving them both. Apparently, you don’t fear being despicable nearly as much as you fear having a broken heart.
You already know that if you loved either of them enough to marry that one, you wouldn’t have such a difficult time deciding between them. So you must tell them both the truth immediately. Yes, they will hate you, and yes, you will have a broken heart. But at least you will be honest and you will finally be making a logical decision instead of a decision based on emotions.
Even though you see yourself as despicable, and even though both women will soon see you that way too, God loves you enough that He sacrificed His only Son Jesus Christ to pay the penalty for your sins. You may suffer consequences now, but if you ask God to forgive you in the name of Jesus, you will not have to pay the eternal penalty for your sins. We urge you to begin a new relationship with God today. He will help you make better decisions in the future.
We wish you the best,