My husband lost his job and, in his desperation to make money, he accepted an offer to marry a resident of the United States who was my best friend and was in love with him. I wasn’t given an option. I signed the divorce papers because he said he would do it anyway, with or without my approval. He is an attorney.

My husband says that our relationship is not over, that he’s only doing this to improve our economic situation, and that he loves me more than ever and won’t abandon me. We have no children, and he even wants us to have a child so I can see that all that he’s telling me is true. I love him, but I don’t believe him.

Dear Friend,

Your instincts are right. You should not believe your ex-husband, and you certainly should not have a baby with him.

He gave you no option as to whether or not to sign the divorce papers. He didn’t care what you thought or wanted. And he didn’t care how hurt you would be. Does this sound like someone who truly loves you?

Now he plans to live in the United States with your ex-best friend, who loves him. He will get a job there and make money. At what point will he be willing to give that up and come back to marry you again? Or how many years will it be before he can legally divorce the other woman and still be a resident of that country, bringing you to live with him there? And what if he has children with her and then has an additional reason to stay with her?

He expects you to wait while he goes on to a better life, not knowing how many years you will have to wait. He wants you to get pregnant and give him the child he is asking for, even though you are no longer married to him. That means that he wants to continue to have sexual relations with you, even though you are divorced. In other words, he wants to have you as his mistress waiting on him for an indefinite amount of time. Does this sound like the life you want to lead?

You know in your heart that it will never work the way that he says. He divorced you, so put the relationship in the past and break off all contact with him. Refuse to see him or speak with him. He will try to manipulate your emotions if you give him the opportunity.

You need the wisdom and strength that only comes from a personal relationship with God. Your ex-husband betrayed you, but God never will. In fact, God the Father loved you so much that He gave His only Son to die on the cross in payment for your sins and mine.(1) Instead of seeking His own good, God provided for your good. And now He offers you a life full of His joy and peace. Reach out to Him in prayer and ask Him to help you plan a better future.

We wish you the best,

1 Jn 3:16