I feel helpless…. It hurts me that my husband continues to mistrust me. More than a year ago (before we were married) I made the mistake of stealing money from him on several occasions…. Now we live with his mother, and she had the bad luck of losing some money with no explanation. As far as my husband and his mother are concerned, the only one who could be responsible is me…. Now the two of them hide their wallets and count their money to make sure that it is all there. My husband even gives his wallet to his mother before he comes to bed at night. All I can do is watch and keep silent…. I have never robbed anything from his mother, but no one believes me, and it’s impossible to live like this in a home.
We congratulate you for recognizing your mistakes and deciding to become a woman who deserves her husband’s trust. Even though your husband and his mother don’t recognize the difference in you, what you know about yourself in your heart is actually more important than what they think.
Since you have not stolen money from your husband for more than a year, you believe that he should trust you again. But the fact that you admit to having stolen from him on several occasions is a significant obstacle. You didn’t just steal once; you did multiple times. Instead of just a mistake, or a single time when you were impulsive and gave into temptation, it was a pattern of behavior that may reveal faulty reasoning on your part.
Do you believe that it is only fair that a person who has more than you should share with you? Do you find yourself looking for opportunities to acquire things in the grocery store or shopping center without paying for those things, knowing that the owners of the stores have much more than you do? Does stealing seem to make you feel emotionally happy or like you have won a game or a prize?
If your answer to any of those questions is “yes,” then your problem is much more significant than you think. But even if you can sincerely answer “no” to all the questions, how can your husband be sure? There is only one way. It takes time, and the time required is much more than a year. He needs to experience over several years that you no longer take anything that doesn’t belong to you, nor do you believe that it is sometimes acceptable to do so.
You say that it is impossible to live in a home like yours, but that belief is false. It is possible, and you can do it! You can demonstrate over a long period of time that you have changed, and you can refuse to get offended that wallets are hidden from you. No one is punishing you. Instead, you are facing the natural consequences of what you did.
However, you do need help with your attitudes and beliefs, as well as your actions. God, your Heavenly Father, wants to give you the strength and endurance that you need. Even better, he wants to truly forgive you of every sin you have ever committed. Ask Him to do that today.
We wish you the best,