I am twenty years old and my girlfriend is five years older than I am. My parents have never been in favor of our relationship, but now she is pregnant.

I am still dependent on my parents. They told me that I should decide what to do, whether to stay with my girlfriend, or break up with her now and, when the baby is born, provide support for both of them. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I don’t want to stay with her anymore because I don’t trust her. If I end up deciding to leave her, can God still forgive me?

Dear Friend,

We are sorry that you and your girlfriend decided to start a family before being ready to take care of the needs and responsibilities that come with having a child. When you decided to have intimate relations with your girlfriend, you also decided to create a new life. So, now you are forced to deal with these responsibilities whether you are ready or not.

First of all, we suggest that you and your girlfriend consider the possibility of placing your child for adoption. There are so many couples that cannot have biological children, and you have the power to place your child into a loving home. In some cases, you might be able to choose the couple yourselves to make sure that they are the right ones. If you choose adoption, neither you nor your girlfriend will have to be responsible in the future.

However, even if your girlfriend is not willing to consider adoption, God does not obligate you to stay in a romantic relationship with her. You will need to be friends with her so that the two of you together can deal with all the needs of your child. You should visit your child a few times each week and provide all that he or she needs, such as food, diapers, clothing, and medical care. That tiny baby will arrive soon, and will need the love and constant care of a father.

God cares very much about your child, and wants you to treat him or her with love and tenderness, and to be a responsible parent. He would never want you to simply disappear from the lives of your girlfriend and your child. Any girl that you date in the future should know that you already have a child. And any woman that you consider marrying needs to know that your first child is your first responsibility in terms of time and money. The child needs to be treated the same in every respect as any children you might have with a future wife. If a woman cannot accept these conditions, then she is not the one for you.

You asked if God can still forgive you. The answer is yes, because the Bible says that “if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”1 To be forgiven for all of our sins, we must sincerely repent and decide to live according to God’s plan for our lives.

We wish you the best,

1 1Jn 1:9