I am depressed…. My parents died when I was a child, and it has taken a great deal of effort to succeed. I got a degree in my chosen field, but I haven’t gotten a job in spite of the fact that I have applied in many places…. I feel like God has abandoned me. I would like to have a family of my own, but I don’t believe that a good man exists. God has forgotten me.
It is tragic to lose your parents at a young age. We are very sorry for your loss! You obviously lost more than just two people. You also lost all the security that you should have had during your childhood and adolescence. Looking back, you feel as if you’ve always had to do everything for yourself, and no one else has done anything to help you. You even feel that God abandoned you then, and that He has forgotten you now.
You say that you don’t believe that a good man exists. This is the same as saying that all men who do exist are not good, or that every man is evil. In order for you to have come to such an extreme conclusion, it is very likely that you have had more than one bad experience with men. We can only guess that you were physically or sexually abused at some time, or that you have been treated cruelly by more than one man. These types of horrible experiences, especially when added to the loss of your parents, are enough to push you into a clinical depression. The difference between clinical depression and regular depression is that you most likely need professional help to climb out of the dark hole that you have fallen into. Please see a medical doctor and tell her about your depression.
Did you know that in several books of the Bible in both the Old and New Testaments God promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us?1 Our God loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die on the cross for your sins and mine.2 But He doesn’t force Himself on us. Instead, He patiently waits for us to come to Him.3 The Apostle James wrote, “When you draw close to God, He will draw close to you.”4
Many times, however, we mix up the order. We want God to solve our problems first, so we don’t consider that He is worth having a relationship with unless He does that to our satisfaction. Or we decide to serve Him, but He doesn’t then give us everything that we expected, so we are quick to turn on Him, not trusting that He loves us enough to work out the best for us.
Even though you don’t sense His presence, God is with you. Trust Him with your problems, and follow His ways. We also suggest that you read Case 21 to learn about another person who suffers with depression.
We wish you the best,
1 Ge 28:15; Dt 31:6-8; Jos 1:5; Mt 28:20; Heb 13:5
2 Jn 3:16
3 Isa 30:18; 1Ti 1:16; Rev 3:20
4 Jas 4:8a (TLB)