A few days ago, my wife found some improper messages on my phone between me and a young woman that my wife knows in passing. The messages were very inappropriate, including provocative talk involving adultery, but it was just a game because the woman has that kind of relationship with several friends, including me.

I understand that it was bad, though I’ve never been unfaithful; but my wife won’t forgive me for what I wrote to the woman, and I don’t know what to do now. I’m telling you about it and getting it off my conscience, hoping that God will forgive me and that He will have His will in my life.

Dear Friend,

Have you heard of the game some people play by standing together on the track in front of an oncoming train and seeing who will wait the longest before jumping off the track? It is obviously a very unwise and dangerous game, so what causes people to play it in spite of the danger? They take the risk because they have the false belief that they will always be able to jump off the track before it is too late. They get a rush of excitement by testing how close they can come without being harmed.

Do you get a rush of excitement when you send inappropriate messages to the other woman? Does that thrill make you disregard the danger that you are putting yourself in? You likely think that you will be able to extricate yourself from the game before it has gone too far. It appears that you may still think of what you are doing as harmless, and that you may not understand why your wife is getting so upset about it.

We have advice for you that was written by the Apostle Paul. He taught, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’ Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning.”(1) His words agree with what your wife is attempting to make you understand. This game that is being played by the woman, along with you and your coworkers, is corrupting your character. You have abandoned your common sense to think that the game is harmless. It is dangerous, and your wife is frustrated and angry that you don’t recognize how treacherous it is.

Your wife will not be able to get over this until you have done three things: First, you must cut off all relationship with the woman, blocking her number and refusing to see her in person.

Next, you must convince your wife that you truly understand what a dangerous game you have been playing, and how the game has corrupted your character and dulled your senses. And lastly, you must give your wife your password and allow her to regularly go through your personal correspondence on all of your devices.

As for God having His will in your life, He will not interfere and override your will. However, if you are sorry for all your sins and ask for His forgiveness and help, God will then forgive you and help you to know how to walk in the path that is best for you.

We wish you the best,

1 1Co 15:33-34b