I am married, and we have a seven-month-old daughter…. While I was pregnant, my husband was unfaithful, and I forgave him.
I used to visit my family and friends, but since the baby’s birth he hasn’t wanted me to go out, not even to visit my mother or my friends…. I feel as if I’m going crazy. I want to spend time with my family in peace, but I feel like I’m in jail. He buys everything for me so that I myself won’t have to and therefore won’t have any reason to leave the house. I don’t know how to tell him that he’s not being reasonable.
Dear Friend,
You say that you don’t know how to tell your husband that he’s not being reasonable. We would guess that you have already tried telling him, maybe many times, but that he has not agreed with what you have said. In that case, you don’t need to know how to tell him, but rather how to get him to change his mind.
You don’t mention your husband’s reasons for wanting you not to go out. Is he afraid for the safety of the baby? If that is the case, is he willing to take care of the baby for a couple of hours when he is not working so that you can go visit your mother and friends? Or does he want to keep the baby away from all other people who might infect the baby with a virus? Does he mind if other people, like your mother, come to visit you at your home?
Without knowing the answers to these questions, we are going to assume not only that he doesn’t let you go out, but also that he doesn’t allow other people to visit you at your house. Because of the recent pandemic, this could actually be reasonable. Many people in our world have been prevented from visiting with their parents and friends. They have had to stay home and not go out. What would have seemed unreasonable two years ago is actually very normal now.
Are you able to have video chats with your mother and friends? Can you text and call them? If your husband is trying to limit your communication with them, then you have a more serious problem. But if he just wants to keep you and your baby safe from the virus, then this is a temporary conflict that will resolve itself in a few more months.
You don’t mention your husband being jealous or abusive, so we have to conclude that this is a disagreement about what activity is safe during these unusual times. If you believe that we are wrong in our assessment, then please ask your medical doctor or pediatrician for help. They will be aware of resources in your city where you can get more help.
We would also suggest that you pray together with your husband, asking God to guide you and show you both what is wise and reasonable in this situation as well as in other situations the two of you will face.
We wish you well,
Linda