My boyfriend and I have been together for five years, but sometimes I feel like I’m not meeting his expectations. He always talks about what he is interested in, and we always do what he wants to do…. Sometimes I feel like he is still with me only because he has gotten used to it. And there are times when I tell him what I think about something, and he tells me to accept him just as he is.
We are sorry to hear that you have chosen to stay in a relationship with a man who thinks only of himself. By acting as if your desires and opinions are of little interest to him, he makes you feel like you have no value.
This man may think that he loves you, but his definition of love doesn’t even consider what is best for you or what you need. Instead, it is all about what he needs and wants.
Can you then help your boyfriend to understand that real love respects and values the other person? No. Instead, as he says, you must accept him as he is: not capable of loving you the way that you need to be loved. You must accept that he will never value your opinion nor care about what is important to you. And you must accept that a life with him will always be a life dedicated to serving him.
However, we have good news for you: There is another choice! You don’t have to stay with this man. You don’t have to let him continue to treat you in such a condescending and disrespectful way.
Don’t try to convince yourself that he will change. Don’t even consider marrying him or having a baby with him. Instead, we believe that you should put an end to the relationship before your situation gets worse.
We can hear you saying: “I love him anyway. I can’t stand the idea of leaving him. I don’t want to be alone. And I don’t want to hurt him.” But if you focus on how you feel, you will let those emotions ruin your life. Those emotions are blinding you to the truth that a future with this boyfriend would be a future of misery and regret.
If you want to know what real love is like, consider what Jesus Christ did for us. Instead of saving His own life, Jesus chose to give His life on a cross. He did that because of how much He loves us. He died for our sins so that we wouldn’t have to face eternal punishment. He put our needs before His own. That is what real love does.
Many women in your situation close their eyes to the truth and instead follow their emotions. Then they tell us their stories and ask us for help. Please don’t become one of those women!
We wish you well,