I need help because I don’t know how to find God again. I have always known about God, but due to various situations that have happened in my life, I have gone my own way. I feel that I have lost my spirituality. I pray and don’t feel what I used to feel. It’s like I’m not connecting with God. Before it was very easy, and I was filled with peace. But now it’s like God doesn’t want anything to do with me. I have been anxious and depressed, and I feel that there is no answer for me.
We are sorry to hear that you feel so lost and alone, but we have great news for you: God has not abandoned you! In fact, “the Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.” (1) These words of King David imply that those who call on God may be calling on Him in truth or calling on Him “falsely.”
What would it mean to call upon God falsely? Let’s put it in the context of communicating with a close friend. If you call a close friend and ask to borrow money to buy food for your children, but you really intend to spend it on a gold necklace, you are calling on your friend falsely. Or if you tell that friend that she is your best friend, but you only call on her when you need help, then you are calling on her falsely. Or if your friend has tried to help you with your addiction to alcohol, but you continue to deceive your friend by hiding your alcohol use from her, then you are again calling on her falsely.
One of the differences between your friend and God is that God cannot be deceived. He knows what we really think, as well as the truth about our motivations. Those who call on God falsely are not deceiving Him, but rather deceiving themselves. They believe that because God is love, He is obligated to give them whatever they are asking for. And they believe that a God who refuses doesn’t care about them and has walked away from them.
We have no way to know if you have been calling on God falsely or in truth. So ask yourself these questions: Am I doing my best to base my actions and attitudes on the principles of God’s Word (the Bible)? Is there something that I am trying to hide from God? Do I communicate with God regularly, or do I only pray when I want something? What am I doing to get to know God better?
You mention that you have been anxious and depressed. Unfortunately, these conditions can cloud our thoughts and skew our feelings. In other words, God may be very close to you, but your anxiety and depression may keep you from feeling Him. Please get an appointment with your medical doctor and ask to be evaluated for mental health services.
We wish you well,
1 Ps 145:18 (NIV)