I joined a social media site so that I could meet friends. There I saw the profile of a man that looked like a good person.
He invited me to the beach on the weekend…. We listened to a concert for a couple of hours…. At nightfall, we went to where he had parked his car…. That’s when what I didn’t want happened…. He started touching me even though I told him that it was not what I expected from him, and that I believed he was a respectful person.
After this bad experience, I don’t recommend to anyone that they join dating websites because they won’t find anything there that is real.
Dear Friend,
We are so sorry about what happened to you! Thank you for wanting to save other people from having a similar experience.
Unfortunately, it is truly impossible to judge the character of people from their photos or from what they reveal about themselves in their social media profiles. You will never find a profile that says, “I lie and cheat and take advantage of women.” Nor is there a profile that says, “I have a really bad temper, especially when I drink too much.”
Instead, most everyone fills their social media profile with endearing descriptions of themselves, even if those descriptions are no more than wishful thinking. Those who post legitimate photos choose only the photos that are attractive and flattering, and they may edit the photos to make them even more appealing.
You told the guy that you believed he was a respectful person. Sadly, many people expect to have a sexual relationship, even on a first date, and yet they still consider themselves to be respectful. They believe that sexual purity is a thing of the past. For them, sex is nothing more than an activity to engage in on a date.
Fortunately, there are ways to minimize the dangers of dating someone that you meet on the Internet. We suggest that you communicate regularly with a new contact for at least a month before even considering meeting them in person. This communication should have the purpose of getting to know how the other person thinks, what he values, and what he believes. Discuss current events, politics, and life goals. Find out the things you have in common and the issues that you disagree about. Would you choose him as a friend? If not, there is no reason to meet in person.
If you decide to meet, do it as a group in a public place. Do not agree to get into a car alone with him or to meet privately at any location. If he objects, then decline to meet him.
We congratulate you for your refusal to engage in physical intimacy with a guy that you just met. That kind of casual physical activity is a cheap imitation of the real thing. God created sex to be the physical expression of love that a husband and wife have for one another.
We wish you well,
Linda