Three years ago I met a woman. We didn’t have a good relationship, but we decided to have a child anyway. Eight months after our baby boy was born, the arguments and conflicts caused us to decide to separate…. We were never married….
Later I started going out with another woman and we weren’t careful when we had relations, so she ended up pregnant. She is not a Christian and my previous partner wasn’t either. That is one reason why my first relationship failed….
I don’t want to be with either of these two women, each of whom have a biological child of mine. I just want a partner who is a Christian, a woman who believes in God like I do, so she can understand me better.
You went out with one woman and had a baby with her even though she wasn’t a Christian like you are. And then you went out with another woman and had a baby with her too, once again in spite of the fact that she wasn’t a Christian either.
Were these women atheists who didn’t believe that God exists, or did they belong to a religion that doesn’t accept Jesus Christ, such as Hindus or Muslims or Buddhists? If your Christian faith were really important to you, wouldn’t you have found out that essential information before getting the women pregnant?
You use the word Christian and say that you believe in God, so you want a partner who believes in God like you do. However, while it’s true that Christians believe in God, Satan and his demons also believe in God.(1) Simply believing in God does not make anyone a Christian.
A true Christian is a follower of Christ. And a follower is one who imitates. That means that followers of Christ imitate Christ. They read the Bible to learn what Christ taught when He walked on this earth, and then they try to live their lives as He did.
However, to become a follower of Christ there is a first step that each of us must take. We have to examine ourselves, realize that we have sinned, and ask for God’s forgiveness. This process is called repentance because it implies that we are not only sorry for breaking God’s law, but also that we don’t plan to sin anymore. Instead, we plan to follow Christ’s example and His teachings.
Christ and His apostles taught that sexual relationships should take place only within marriage.(2) God’s plan is for each follower of His Son Jesus Christ to marry another follower of Christ and then create a home where their children can be secure and can be taught about God’s love for them.
That is why, in your case, we are concerned about the wellbeing of the two precious children that you have brought into existence. Your primary responsibility is to them. Instead of being concerned about how to find the perfect woman, make your children your primary focus. Do everything you can to provide financially, emotionally, and physically for them and to teach them to be true followers of Christ.
We wish you well,
1 Jas 2:19
2 1Th 4:3-5; 1Co 7:2