My ex-wife and I have a daughter together. I had to get a divorce from her because she physically and emotionally abused me. She already had four children, and I tried to give them what I could; but they were all teenagers and never accepted me…. They made my life impossible, to the extent that one of them punched me in the mouth. My ex-wife stabbed me in the arm with a knife.

For the past two years I have not been able to see our daughter because my ex-wife keeps making up false charges against me. I am very depressed about not seeing my daughter. What should I do?

Dear Friend,

We are so very sorry to hear about what you are going through! Of course, we know that there are details that you have left out, but we are going to assume that you never abused your ex-wife nor any of the children.

We also assume that when you got the divorce, you revealed the details of her abuse on the divorce papers. If so, then that document would be evidence that you could present in a child custody dispute.

On the other hand, if you did not document the abuse on the divorce papers, then this is probably a case of her word against yours. Even so, you have every right to request the court to give you regular visitation with your daughter. Unless you were abusive or negligent yourself, it is wrong for your ex-wife to keep your daughter from seeing you.

However, this brings us to the difficult question of whether or not you have been providing financial support for your daughter. Just as you have the right to see her, you also have the obligation to share in her expenses. If you haven’t been doing so already, we suggest that you begin to send money for her from every paycheck that you receive. Keep a record of every payment in case you need to prove it in court.

We are not attorneys, and we do not know the laws of your country. You need to consult an attorney regarding all of your options, rights, and responsibilities.

We know that you love your daughter very much and that you long to be together with her. There is an ache in your heart that only your daughter can soothe. This is a perfect example of how much God, our father, loves each one of us individually. In fact, He has an ache in His heart that can only be soothed if you begin a personal relationship with Him, as we have already done. You don’t have to be a righteous or holy person, because none of us are. We are all sinners and we all need the forgiveness that comes when we ask God to forgive our sins in the name and by the power of His Son Jesus Christ.(1) Your Heavenly Father loves you just as you love your daughter.(2) We encourage you to respond to Him in the same way that you want your daughter to respond to you.

We wish you well,

1 Ro 3:23; 1Jn 1:9
2 Mt 7:11; Jn 3:16