About five years ago I failed God by having sexual relations with my then-partner, trusting that we were going to get married…. But two years ago we separated.
I asked God for forgiveness for failing Him in that way, but a year and a half ago I fell again with a man who lied to me, telling me he was single. It was a one-night thing. I have asked God for forgiveness for that too, and I have taken care to keep from doing it again….
I feel very badly about myself and feel that I’m worthless. I try to maintain a good relationship with God, but I can’t stop thinking of those mistakes. I’ve even come to think that I am trash for having been immorally with a married man.
Dear Friend,
You may believe that God condemns you for your sin, but that belief is not based on truth. In order to know what God actually thinks of you, it is necessary to study the Bible. It contains the truth about who God is and how much He loves us in spite of the fact that we are all sinners who need His forgiveness.
You say that you already asked God for forgiveness, and yet you still feel condemnation. The Bible teaches us that there is now no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.(1) So if there is no condemnation for those who have asked God to forgive their sins, then the condemnation you feel is not coming from God.
There is a story in the Bible about a woman who was caught committing adultery. The religious leaders wanted to kill her for her sin by throwing stones at her. They asked Jesus if they should stone her, and He answered that if any of them was sinless, he should throw the first stone. But because each realized his own sin, they quietly left. Then Jesus asked her: “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She answered, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.”(2)
Christ made it clear that He didn’t condemn the woman, but He told her not to sin anymore. He is saying the same to you now. You have asked for forgiveness, so you are forgiven. Now don’t fall into that pattern of sin again.
You say that what you did made you feel worthless. But it is actually the other way around. You felt worthless, so you allowed yourself to be disrespected and taken advantage of. You forgot that you were made in the image of God and that you are His dearly loved daughter.
When you keep focusing on the past, you bring it into your present and jeopardize your future. Because God has forgiven you, and the past is behind you, it is time to begin again, with God’s help.
We wish you well,
Linda
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1 Ro 8:1
2 Jn 8:2-11