While planning to leave my boyfriend because of his behavior with other women on social media, I found out that I was pregnant.

I sought God’s guidance, we talked with our mentors, and they advised him that, if he truly loved me, he needed to change. So he committed to change, and we made plans to get married. But once again, I caught him sending friend requests to other women, and I’m now being humiliated because of him. I don’t know what to do!

Dear Friend,

It was a great idea to seek God’s guidance and to get advice from trusted mentors. At the time that you talked with them, the two of you agreed that you would follow their advice. But your boyfriend was lying when he said he agreed, or he changed his mind later and decided to back out of the agreement, or maybe he had good intentions but gradually went back to his old ways without ever making a decision to do so. It could have been any of these three possibilities.

In the first case, if your boyfriend lied, then you can expect him to continue lying if you decide to stay with him. In the second case, if he said he was willing to be faithful to you, but then he changed his mind, then you have an actual example of how little you should trust what he says. And in the third case, if he was sincere when he said that he would change, but he gradually went back to his old ways without having made a conscious decision, then he has a highly developed ability to justify giving in to his own temptations, no matter what the consequences might be. He may start out thinking that one little chat won’t make a difference and won’t alter your agreement, but before he knows it, he is back to his old behaviors.

Unfortunately, all three of these possibilities lead to the same conclusion: your boyfriend cannot be trusted, and it is irrational to think that he is going to change. Therefore, we advise you to leave him today and to not even consider marrying him.

Hopefully, you have relatives who can offer you a place where you and your child can live. As soon as the child is born, file an application for child support with the court system. While this legal process may differ from one country to another, in every country the child should be the responsibility of both the biological father and the biological mother, so the father should be compelled to help pay the child’s expenses.

We understand that you will be devasted to lose your boyfriend and to face the future alone. But you say that you have sought God’s guidance, so now is the time to trust Him to help you. Ask Him to give you the strength and peace that you will need to bring up your child alone. And get involved in church and community activities, and determine that you will never again have intimate relations with any man until you are legally married.

We wish you well,

Linda