I am emotionally messed up…. I’m twenty-eight years old and feel devastated because of realizing that I wasted all my youth….
Many people have successful lives by my age. I, on the other hand, have no gifts nor talents. I am poor in health and I fear that I have a tumor or cancer, but I don’t plan to go to a clinic because I am afraid and ashamed.
I’ve thought that maybe all my misfortunes are a punishment from God, because I’m really not worth much. Most nights I’m so sad about my situation that I cry out to God in tears and let him know in prayer how I feel.
Do you think that Jesus Christ listens to what I tell Him in prayer? I’ve thought a lot about ending my life, because I think that when I die I won’t have to suffer anymore…. I don’t know why I was born.
Dear Friend,
We are truly sad to hear about what you’ve been going through. We also know for certain that God not only hears your prayers, but is also very concerned about you. His Son Jesus Christ taught: “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”(1)
It is incredible to think that God cares so much for each one of us! He loves us regardless of how talented we are, how successful we are, or how much we have accomplished, because we are His creation, planned before the beginning of the world.
You were born as an expression of God’s love. Now your purpose is to love Him and to be willing to let Him lead and guide you into the future that He has planned for you.(2)
However, we suspect that you have an imbalance in your brain chemicals and that there is medication that could help you. We are not medical doctors, and even a medical doctor wouldn’t be able to diagnose any irregularity simply based on your short story, but you definitely have symptoms that need medical attention. Your fear of finding a major disease is actually a common symptom of anxiety disorders, while your thoughts of harming yourself could be caused by clinical depression. In either case, you need to consult a medical doctor.
In the meantime, comparison is your enemy. You don’t know anything about the personal struggles that others have, so don’t compare yourself with them. Instead of thinking of how you don’t measure up to others, concentrate on how blessed you are to have God on your side. Think of what God can do instead of what you can’t do. God is everywhere! He knows everything! He can do anything!(3) Those are the things you should meditate on.
We wish you well,
Linda
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1 Mt 10:29-31
2 Eph 2:10
3 Mt 19:26; Lk 1:37