For the past nine years, I’ve been carrying a hidden sin that has brought me serious consequences over the past four months. I’ve spent $28,000 on pornographic websites, and now I have that debt…. I’ve repented many times…. I feel terrible, and I truly want to quit this addiction and stop sinning.
Dear Friend,
The large amount of money that you have spent on pornography may seem like the most destructive consequence of your addiction. However, although we agree that it is an astounding amount of money and debt, we would argue that the damages inside your brain are even more serious.
Pornography features images that seem to be perfect. The more perfect images that you see, the less you will be able to see the beauty in normal, imperfect people. In fact, most people who are addicted to porn increasingly retreat from normal people, like friends and family, in order to feed their habit in private. Spending time with normal people may be somewhat pleasurable to them, but that pleasure can’t compete with the pleasure that they feel from viewing pornography. They have trained their brains to crave the pleasure that comes from porn and to do whatever it takes to experience that pleasure again. They may virtually abandon their loved ones and spend all the money that they have, even if that means that they can’t pay for rent, food, and transportation.
Please search for Case 7. In the counsel, we describe the changes to your brain when you repeatedly consume pornography, as well as list the next steps that anyone should take if they want to overcome their addiction.
However, just knowing and understanding the steps is not enough; you must actually take the actions in that list. For example, if you normally view porn on your phone, trade it in for a phone without Internet access. Or, if you generally view porn on your computer, purchase and install software that prevents visiting adult sites. Today, more than ever before, there is software that can protect you from yourself. So if you really are serious about wanting to stop your addiction, you can do whatever it takes to minimize the temptation.
Jesus Christ, God’s Son, taught His followers about temptation. He frequently used a form of exaggeration in his teaching, and the people of His time understood that it was a literary device to make a point instead of a command to be taken literally. So when He taught, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away,” no one listening thought that they were supposed to put out their own eye.(1) Instead, they understood that He was saying that they should do everything in their power to get away from whatever was causing them to sin. Our message to you is the same.
We wish you well,
Linda
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1 Mt 5:29