I am thirty-one years old…. The problem in my life is the lack of money…. I got married a year ago, and I thought I would never have children; but now I am ten weeks pregnant and I want to put my baby up for adoption. I want to give my child a family that has good economic resources so that he or she will never lack for anything…. My child will need a lot of things that I cannot give. I don’t have my own house, I don’t have a job, and the money my husband makes is just enough for the rent and food.
I don’t know if that is the right thing to do in God’s sight. I think that, if my child is adopted… by a good family, he can be happy and they can give him what we can’t give him.
Dear Friend,
Thank you for sharing your situation with us. It is obvious that you want your child to have a good life, and that you want to do the right thing.
The most important question we have for you is, What does your husband think about this? You use the words “I” and “my” instead of “we” and “our,” which makes it seem like your husband doesn’t have anything to do with the decision. Or maybe you are telling us only what you think because your husband does not agree with you, and you would like to have us take your side of the argument.
If you are a follower of A Message to the Conscience, you know that my husband and I believe strongly in adoption. We adopted three of our five children, and we believe that adoption is the right option when a birth mother is not able to care for her child because she is too young, unmarried, or unprepared to be a mother.
You, on the other hand, are not too young, and you are married. So the question is whether or not you are prepared. You say that when you got married, you thought that you would never have children. Is that because you didn’t want children? If so, did you and your husband agree upon that decision? The size of family that a couple wants to have is definitely something that they should agree upon before they decide to get married.
Women who have no money give birth to babies every day. Because they want the children, they sacrifice in other areas to give the babies what they need. If your husband does not agree with your desire to put the child up for adoption, then you will both find a way to provide for him or her.
If, on the other hand, your husband does agree to place the child for adoption, you will face fierce opposition from your family members and friends. Many people will accuse you of abandoning your child and will try to make you feel guilty. So you will have to be very strong in your belief that it is the right thing to do.
In any case, the truth is that God, our Heavenly Father, let Jesus Christ, His only Son, be adopted by Joseph, the husband of Mary. Jesus needed to grow up in a human family so that He could then be the one to take the punishment for our sins on the cross. So God chose an earthly father for His Son to make sure that Jesus would be well cared for and loved.
We wish you well,
Linda