I had a good childhood, though we didn’t have much materially…. Now I am a professional, and I have a good job, a good husband, and a beautiful daughter who just turned two. We stagger our schedules so that we can take care of her.

My boss commutes daily from another city, and now he wants us to begin commuting to where he is instead. It is not fair because it would mean getting home later and spending more time away from my daughter….

I have asked God to help me understand if it is better to quit and stay home with my daughter, or if I should be willing to give a little more. I don’t want to miss her milestones, but I also don’t want her to have to do without like I did. I am confused and don’t know what to do.

Dear Friend,

How wonderful that you and your husband have been able to arrange your work schedules so that your daughter is always with one of her parents! That would be a dream for most two-career families. You have, no doubt, made sacrifices to make it possible. I congratulate you for making your daughter’s care your highest priority.

It is unfortunate that your boss has chosen to change the location of your employment. However, realistically, it is his right to do so, just as it is your right to refuse to commute. It is understandable that you feel conflicted, for you have worked hard to become a professional. Yet you know that the time you would miss with your daughter could never be recovered.

When there are guidelines in the Bible for specific situations, it is easy to know what is right. But when there are no clear teachings or examples regarding a specific subject, the first thing to do is to pray and ask God to give His wisdom. Then ask yourself some tough questions, trusting God to help you answer those questions.

Some questions to ask yourself in this situation are: Which option am I most likely to regret in a year? Which option might I regret in five years or ten years, or even twenty years? Which option is likely to be best for those I love?

Some parents don’t have a lot of choices and are forced to do the best that they can to provide financially for their families, even though it means leaving the care of their children to other people. That almost inevitably leads to a constant tug-of-war between the job and the family, resulting in guilt for not being present in significant moments of their children’s lives. Most of those parents look back with regret upon the family time that is gone forever.

With God’s help, you will make the right decision. Remember to ask for His wisdom every day, and then to thank Him for giving it to you.

We wish you well,