My problem is that I’m thirty-nine years old, I’m single, and I don’t even have a girlfriend…. As a child I contracted polio, and my right hand and leg are affected. That’s why women don’t want me…. I can’t even get a job because I am handicapped. I am educated and have degrees, but even so I can’t find a job anywhere. So I walk alone in this life. I feel like I would like to die, and I ask myself, why did God bring me into this world to not have any positive future?
We are very sorry to hear about your situation. We have a son with cerebral palsy, so we have been there with our son as he has experienced some of the challenges that you mention. Everything has always been so much harder for him than it is for other people, and some things are impossible for him to do. Of course we have questioned God and asked why He would allow this to happen to our son, or why He would want anyone to be handicapped.
Beethoven composed some of his greatest music after he lost his hearing. Helen Keller, both deaf and blind, became a brilliant author. Nick Vujicic, a man born with no legs or arms, is a popular public speaker and was married not long ago. Runners and skiers and dancers win awards with prosthetic legs. But you have probably heard these stories before, and they don’t make you feel any better about your situation.
Some countries have laws and programs that make it easier for handicapped people to get jobs. Other countries have little or no laws or helps for handicapped people. Because you say you are educated, we assume that you have been able to leave home daily to go to a college or university. We don’t know if this is due to the help of a family member or if you are able to travel alone. Either way, it shows that you do have some mobility.
Use your mobility to get out of that house! You will never find a wife or a job while you are at home. Volunteer your services at a hospital or a non-profit organization. Find a cause that you care about and dedicate your time and effort to it. As you do, you will develop social skills that will help you to interact with women. And you will develop facets of your personality that will make you a more interesting companion.
If this sounds impossible, it is probably because you are clinically depressed. See your doctor and tell him about your wish to die. There are chemicals in your body that could be aggravating this depression, and if so, those chemicals need to be regulated with medication.
Most important of all, start a conversation with God. But don’t just complain to Him; ask Him for His help. Ask His Son Jesus to come into your life and give you the strength that you need to face each new day. Jesus wants to be the best friend that you’ve ever had. Give Him a chance to help you!
We wish you well,