I am twenty-four years old…. Seven months ago I had a romantic relationship…. I was faithful and respectful because I loved her a lot…. I like to be attentive and romantic with the person I love.

Every day I read the Bible and other literary works, especially those written by Nobel Prize winners. I try above all to stay true to God’s commandments. She is twenty and is studying clinical psychology, but she doesn’t have the same beliefs about God that I have.

Our relationship was wonderful, but after two and a half months she said she wanted to end it. I consented, since I couldn’t make her stay with me anyway. From that moment on, my heart has been full of sadness on account of her….

Dear Friend,

Love is wonderful and yet, as you have found, it can be painful as well. We are sorry that your heart has been broken, but it sounds like you handled it in an honorable way, in spite of your feelings. You let your brain dictate your actions, instead of letting your feelings overpower you. Congratulations! That shows real maturity.

Now you are asking for advice rather than immediately contacting your ex-girlfriend. Again, you are showing great wisdom and maturity. It is also possible that your conscience is warning you that it might not be a good idea to get back together with her.

You mentioned a very important element that is often overlooked in evaluating what it takes to have a good relationship, especially if that relationship might lead to marriage someday. It is critically important that a couple have the same beliefs and priorities. Otherwise, there is the probability that some difference will cause extreme stress on the relationship in the future, especially if the couple gets married and wants to have children. If a couple can’t agree on the spiritual training of their future children, then they are not ready to be married. Would you be willing to let your girlfriend train your children according to her beliefs if you were to be married? If so, then your beliefs don’t mean anything to you. But if not, then don’t pursue a relationship that cannot have a future.

Those who love God and want to stay true to His commandments, as you say that you do, must look for girlfriends (or boyfriends) who have the same beliefs. Unfortunately people often write to us to say that they had a personal relationship with Christ in the past, but their girlfriend or wife did not, and that they let their own beliefs just float away on a cloud of neglect. They didn’t mean for it to happen, they’re not sure how it happened, and they wish it had not happened.

You get to choose. Make the decision that your conscience is telling you to make!

We wish you well,

Linda