I have difficulty communicating with the man that I love. Every time I try to tell him something important, he blows up at me…. I feel bad because I believe that I don’t express myself well. I ask God to put the right words in my mouth.

My boyfriend thinks that I am immature…. I am afraid that this will make him get bored of our relationship. But I don’t know how to communicate with him without him taking that attitude. Please help me! I know that we love each other, and I want to resolve what could be a good relationship.

Dear Friend,

It is always a good thing to ask God to help you, for He does care about you. In fact, He cares so much that He always wants the best for you. That is probably why He put it in your mind to ask for our advice regarding this situation.

We have no way of knowing whether or not you are immature, nor whether or not you communicate well. But we do recognize the fear that you feel trying to keep your boyfriend from blowing up at you, and the shame you feel when he puts you down by saying that you are immature.

You won’t like to hear this truth, but your boyfriend is abusing you verbally and making you believe that you deserve it. He is gaslighting you, which is causing you to doubt yourself, your abilities, and your own perception of reality. He is gradually and persistently diminishing your sense of who you are and your ability to think rationally. He is toxic to you, and yet you can’t think of anything worse than him getting tired of you.

Your relationship with this man is dangerous. If you don’t believe it, please consult with a professional counselor or even a medical doctor.

We strongly recommend that you get out of this relationship while you can, but be sure to ask a family member or friend to accompany you when you tell your boyfriend that you want to break up with him. He may have never been violent with you before, but his treatment of you so far would lead us to believe that violence may be the next step for him.

Most importantly, do not have sexual relations with this man! Would you want your child to grow up in an environment where he is afraid of his father and ashamed of his own abilities? The only way to prevent that from happening is to get away and stay away from this man that you say you love.

We know that this advice will devastate you. The first one to turn to is God. Ask Him to give you the courage and the strength for what is ahead. And then ask Him to guide you into His plan for your life and to give you peace.

We wish you well,

Linda