My wife had to move to another area because of her job. She told me to come with her to take care of our children, and that she would take care of the household expenses…. But my mother-in-law had to come and live with us for medical reasons…. and ever since she moved in, things have changed…. She started contributing to household expenses along with my wife, so they looked down on me and began treating me in a different way. Now my wife tells her mother all the intimate details of our marital life….
I had a big argument with my mother-in-law and, as a result, with my wife… who is on her mother’s side. Today they threw me out of the house because of a misunderstanding….
I miss my children very badly…. I don’t want to fail to pay the child support, that is required by law, while I’m unemployed…. I think that even our Creator forgot all about me. I admit that I’m a sinner and that I have a lot of missteps.
Dear Friend,
Our Creator would never forget you, as you fear, but it is likely that you have chosen to live in a way that ignores His presence in your life. Yes, you are a sinner just like the rest of us, but that is exactly why we all need to include Him in our daily lives. He is not a far-away impersonal God who created the world and then stepped away. Instead, He is a personal God who loves us and offers us a better and happier way to live.
It is understandable that you feel mistreated. You believed that you and your wife had an arrangement in which she would provide the finances while you would take care of the home and children. But then your mother-in-law moved in and began to question the arrangement. We have no way of knowing the actual details, but possibly your mother-in-law believes that you are not adequately caring for the home and children. She might expect you to do more than you are accustomed to doing.
Many mothers-in-law are fiercely protective of their adult children and continue to advocate for them in the same way that they did when their children were small. They put themselves in the middle of relationships between their children and everyone else, even the spouses of their adult children. Their motives are usually pure, but their actions often threaten the unity and bond that God intended the husband and wife to keep.
Wise mothers and fathers understand that their respective roles become secondary on the day that their child marries. Those parents who want their adult children to be happy will do everything in their power to support their children’s marriages, even when the parents don’t agree with the choices that the adult children make.
Unfortunately, we don’t know your wife’s side of the story, so there are only two suggestions that we can give you. The first is to consult a professional marriage counselor, and the second is to ask God to show you the other steps to take.
We wish you well,
Linda