I am fifteen years old and I like to chat online. It was there that I chatted with a guy who asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes. That same day I met him in person. He asked me to have intimate relations with him, and I gave in. I did it because I felt lonely. After that I felt badly. I had failed God and my family.

I believe God will never forgive me and that I don’t deserve the love He gives me. I don’t know how to get God’s forgiveness.

Dear Friend,

We are so very sorry to learn about your situation. Too late you learned that there are some actions that can never be taken back. You can never go back to being a virgin, and that is why you are grief stricken.

In spite of the sexual images all around us, the television programs and the movies, the pornography on the web, and the explosion of sexual activity among teenagers, in your heart you now realize that you gave up something very precious. And since there were no feelings of love involved, it didn’t take you very long to realize what a horrible mistake you made.

Our society and the mass media have created an environment where physical intimacy appears to be a game, a pastime, an activity for a Saturday night. You may have heard of the morning after pill that is supposed to destroy any baby that might have been created by a couple the night before. But there is no morning after pill that can give a girl back her self esteem or her virginity.

However, we have good news for you! You said you failed God and your family, and that you no longer deserve God’s love. You are correct. But these things are also true for every human being. We have all failed God and our families, and none of us deserve forgiveness.(1) That is exactly why God the Father had to give his only Son Jesus Christ to pay the price for what we have done. That is why Jesus had to die on the cross. We don’t deserve it! But He did it for us because He loves us!(2) When you ask for forgiveness, God will give it to you. You will be completely clean and without sin.(3)

Of course, when we ask for God’s forgiveness, He does ask us to repent of what we have done. This means that we are not only sorry, but that we also intend and make plans to never commit that sin again. In your case, we suggest that you do not ever chat with strangers online. As horrible as what happened to you was, you need to be thankful that the guy didn’t turn out to be a murderer. Chatting online is a very dangerous activity. Almost every day we hear of cases where someone posed as someone else in order to commit a crime. Please communicate only with people you know, and never agree to meet a stranger for any reason. When you are older, you will understand that evil men are lurking on the Internet, waiting to take advantage of boys and girls like you.

As for your loneliness, you have learned that it can cause you to make bad decisions. Make a plan to get together with other people in a safer way. Join a club or a sports team or a youth group. Volunteer at a charity or hospital. It may take awhile, but eventually you will meet people like you to develop safe relationships with.

Stay safe!

Linda and Charles
1 Ro 3:23
2 Jn 3:16
3 1Jn 1:9