I had a sexual relationship with a guy and I ended up pregnant. My pregnancy was difficult as I suffered from high blood pressure. I begged God to have mercy on my baby, but he lived only twelve hours and had breathing problems and high blood pressure. I had placed all my faith in God, and in spite of it God took my baby.
Is it wrong to ask God why He took away my son? I want Him to give me an answer in order to heal some of my pain. Now my faith is low, and I can’t find a way to get out of this depression that I feel. Please help me understand what happened!
We don’t know how long it has been since you lost your baby, but it is completely normal that you would be depressed and in pain. You looked forward to having a child for nine months, and dreamed what it would be like as your child grew up. Furthermore, as a result of your high blood pressure, you went through extended physical and emotional trauma, taking a toll on your body and your mind. Now, in your grief, you think it would make you feel better if there just were a reason.
You want to know if it is wrong to ask God why He did this to you. The truth is that it is never wrong to talk to God or to ask Him any question. He desires a friendship with you that involves communication on a daily basis. He wants you to ask Him any question that you may have.
However, God did not cause your baby to die. When you blame Him for that, you completely ignore your health problems, your high blood pressure, and the baby’s health problems. The cause of illness and disease is bacteria, body chemicals, cell mutations, and external stimuli that we cannot always control. When you suffer from a cold or virus, do you ask God why He gave you the cold? No, you say that the person who coughed on you in the bus must have infected you. Some people would say that it’s because you didn’t wear a coat, or because you got your hair wet. But no one says that you caught a cold because God gave it to you. So does it make sense to now blame God for the physical illnesses that your son was born with?
God created the earth as a perfect place, with no disease or death. But He gave the people that He created the right to choose His way or their own way. The first people, Adam and Eve, chose to do things their own way and to disobey God’s plan and guidelines.1 Unfortunately, the way that they chose comes with disease and death, and now each of us suffers the consequences of their choice. We all face disease and eventual death, not because God wanted it that way, but because our ancestors Adam and Eve rejected His plan. Thankfully, today we can each choose to have full and eternal life through His Son Jesus Christ.
We wish you well,
Linda and Charles
1 Ge 2-3