I am sixteen years old. When I was twelve, I came to live at my uncle’s house. Here there is a boy who unfortunately hates me. He says horrible things to me, and his mom backs him up. And my uncle can’t do anything about it….
I can’t go back and live at my mother’s house because a neighbor raped me when I was nine, and I’m afraid.
The boy’s mother says that there is something going on between my uncle and me, but that’s a lie. I love my uncle like a father….
The best thing would be for me to kill myself. That way I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. What man would pay attention to a girl who has been raped?
I don’t even have a boyfriend, and the rape is always in my thoughts. Help me, please, or I’m going to die!
Our hearts are touched by your sad story. Not only did the neighbor rape you, but he also stole from you your ability to live in your home and your ability to live with your mother. And he robbed you of your childhood! No little girl should have to live through what you have suffered.
We can only guess as to why the neighbor is not in jail where he should be, why your mother can’t move away from the danger, and why you are forced to live in a place where you are constantly persecuted. The adults in your life have let you down, but you can’t change the past. What you can do is to plan for your future.
The most important step that you should take right now is to ask God to forgive you of any bad things that you have done, and let His Son Jesus Christ be your Best Friend. If you ask Him in prayer, He will live in your heart and help you make wise decisions for your future.
However, you do not need to ask forgiveness for the rape or for anything that happened between you and the man that abused you. You were a little girl, so you have absolutely no responsibility for what happened. That is why no honorable young man will think less of you. It was not your fault! What happened to you has nothing to do with who you are or with your ability to have romantic relationships in the future.
We do believe that you should try to join a therapy group that is for the survivors of rape. Call your local hospital and your police station to ask about such a group. When you are able to talk with others who have been through similar experiences, you will gain hope for your future. (If you cannot find a local therapy group, then search for one online.) You need to be able to talk about the things that you are feeling, and when you are able to do that, your suicidal thoughts will diminish. (However, we also think it would be good for you to tell a medical doctor about those thoughts.)
For now, as much as is possible, stay away from the ones who are persecuting you. When you are forced to be around them, stay quiet and just smile at whatever they say. You’ll see that when you stop reacting to the boy’s insults, it will no longer be fun for him and he won’t do it as much.
Determine to keep yourself pure until you get married. (What happened did not take away your purity; only you can choose to give it away.) Do well in school so that you can have better opportunities in the future. And don’t even consider having a boyfriend until you find a guy who respects you and admires you for how you have made the most of very difficult circumstances.
We wish you well,
Linda and Charles