I have been married for two years and have not been able to have children. I have had a lot of problems with my uterus and have been operated on twice, but with no positive results. All the doctors tell me that I should have a hysterectomy to correct this condition that is dangerous to my health….

I feel horrible about this because my dream and what our home needs is to have a child. My husband and I are in agreement to adopt one, but my family is against it. They even say that I have no faith, that I’m not trusting God. But the truth is I have tried everything and nothing has worked.

Please give me some advice. I am very sad, but my health is at risk. I don’t know what I should do. Help me, please!

Dear Friend,

My heart goes out to you, and I am so sorry that things haven’t worked out the way that you planned! It is impossible to know why God has allowed this physical illness and suffering in your life, but when we trust Him we believe that He will eventually work it all out for good.(1)

Your family is making the same mistake that many people make. They believe that faith means that God is obligated to give anyone what they want, when they want it, and how they want it, just because they ask. If God doesn’t answer, then they say the person didn’t have enough faith. But that is not what the Bible teaches about faith.

Faith is not about getting what we want, nor is it the magic formula to manipulate the God of the universe into doing things our way. When our faith is in God, then we accept that He knows what’s best, and we believe and trust Him enough to do it His way. If, instead, we demand that God do things the way we want Him to, we are actually proving that we don’t have faith in Him and that we don’t trust His way.

I congratulate you for your desire to adopt a child. Recently one of our subscribers and his wife adopted a baby. His experience has been so positive that he decided to tell us about it. “If God doesn’t want my wife to get pregnant,” he said in closing, “let Him keep on giving me more children [like this one] born in my heart.” He experienced first-hand that a child can be “born in your heart” even if the child is not biologically related to you.

It is true that other people, including our closest relatives, cannot always understand adoption. When my husband and I adopted a baby, my mother said that he would never be like her other grandchildren and that she just wouldn’t be able to accept him. Once she held the baby in her arms, however, she completely forgot what she had said!

You have a medical condition that needs treatment. God can choose to heal you any time before the scheduled surgery, but if He doesn’t, then He must have a plan that is better for your life. Maybe He has a special child chosen for you, and He knows that you would not even consider adoption if it were not for this medical condition.

I wish you well,

1 Ro 8:28