I was fifteen years old when I met my biological father. My mother got back together with him, and they got married. I accepted him, and all was going well….

But after a few weeks they had an argument, and my mother sent me to sleep at the place where my father had moved. One night he started touching me as if I were a woman for him. I wanted to say no, because I was not in agreement with what he was doing, but he said that God wanted us to be one uniting our bodies, and that what he was doing wasn’t wrong. Since that night, he molests me every night and, if I don’t let him touch me, he wakes up angry with me the next day, and has even hit me. My mother sees it all and says nothing….

I have asked God to change my father because I don’t want to have to leave home, since we are poor and my siblings need my help. Please, I need some advice!

Dear Friend,

Your situation breaks my heart. The adults in your life have betrayed you in the most unimaginable way. They have taught you through their actions that wrong is right and that you can’t trust even those who claim to love you the most.

You have asked for my advice. Are you willing to follow my suggestions? It won’t be easy, but it will be right. And it will be the right thing for your siblings.

Your father’s behavior is more than just wrong. It is illegal, immoral, and despicable. In most every country there are laws against what he is doing. Men who abuse young girls are called pedophiles, and what your father is doing is incest.

You need to tell an adult outside the family. If there is a school psychologist or counselor, tell that person. If not, tell a doctor. And if you can’t tell a doctor, then walk into the police station and tell the police. Your father has probably abused other girls, and he may be abusing your siblings. You must protect yourself and others by telling your secret immediately to someone whom you can trust.

Your father is also lying to you. God does not want you to have a sexual relationship with anyone except your future husband, and only after you are married. The Holy Scriptures talk about uniting your body with your husband’s and becoming one with him.(1) Your father is twisting and perverting the truth and confusing you because he only cares about himself. If your mother knows about all of it, as you believe she does, then she must be refusing to protect you because of extreme fear. He has confused her as well.

Please take my advice and get help from an adult. This kind of secret is destructive to your entire family. You have done nothing to be ashamed of or for which to feel guilty; so don’t be afraid to tell the truth to anyone. It is the same as if someone had robbed you of money. But instead of money, he robbed you of trust, innocence, and security. These are more valuable than any amount of money.

I wish you well,

1 Mk 10:8