After twenty years of marriage, I got divorced as a result of the physical and psychological abuse. Consequently… I moved away with my fifteen-year-old son…. Then I fell in love with another man, but my son and my new partner have not gotten along and that has caused countless problems.
My son decided to go back to live with his father. From that time on my life has been a living hell. The pain I feel over my son is more than I can bear. His father continues to mistreat him, and I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to come back to me unless I break up with my partner.
Tell me what to do. The pain I feel over my son is intense, but I also love my partner.
We are sorry to hear that your marriage did not work out. Clearly you have suffered a lot over the years. However, is that your son’s fault? Does he have to now continue suffering because you have made another man a higher priority in your life than your own son?
It is obvious that your conscience has been begging to get your attention, but you have been trying to have it both ways. You want to do the right thing and you want to keep your partner. In this case, that is impossible. Your son knows that you are not married and that this man has no authority over him. Young teenage boys are in the process of becoming young men, and they have plenty of problems already without having to deal with their mother’s live-in boyfriend.
We believe that your loyalty belongs to the person who came into your life first and who you committed to take care of. In this case, that is your son. We believe that you should not live with any man unless you are married, and that you shouldn’t marry until your son is an adult. You have selfishly abandoned your son at a very impressionable time in his life, and you need to get your priorities straight today.
Don’t you deserve happiness? Of course! But you can wait a few short years until your son is an adult. And you can wait until a man loves you enough to marry you.
King David wrote, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.”1. Your son has been forsaken through the abuse of his father and the neglect of his mother. But the Lord wants to help the boy, and He wants to give you a chance to make it right. Start this new change in your life by praying and asking God to come into your life and to give you the strength and the wisdom that you need for taking the next steps. God will not forsake you. He is waiting for you to give Him a chance to help you. He will forgive you of all your sin and will give you a new opportunity for a happy life.
I wish you well,
1 Ps 27:10