Two months have gone by, and I can’t find work. I have a one-year-old daughter and my wife. I feel frustrated, worried, and my wife has even said that I am a failure. I have been offered the opportunity to go illegally in search of the American Dream and leave my family. I feel so desperate that I am considering going, though I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave my wife and my daughter, because it would be like ripping out a piece of my heart. Please give me some advice.
We know that many who hear your story will identify with your situation. The economies of most countries in the world have suffered in recent years, and people like you have suffered personally as a result. Your question is one that many of those suffering people have asked themselves.
Going to another country to find work or food has occurred throughout history. Entire families leave everything that they have ever known to find opportunity in far away places. This can work out very well, even though it is often hard to leave relatives and friends and start over. However, there are two pieces of advice that we can offer you.
The first is that you don’t go anywhere without your wife and daughter. We have received correspondence from children whose fathers have gone off to another country for work, and who have never returned. The children feel deserted and can’t understand why their fathers left them. The wives are left with fewer resources than before and the sole responsibility of raising the children.
The second thing we would tell you is to never lie or break any laws to get into another country. Once you start lying and breaking laws, it becomes an endless cycle. The deceit causes anxiety and makes the liar feel that he constantly has to look behind him to see who might be following. Then come more lies to find employment, and more lies to survive. Nothing good can come out of a life of constant lies. Solomon, who is known more than anything for his wisdom, said: “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”1
If there is no possibility of taking your family legally to another country, consider moving them to another region of your own country. In most countries there are places where workers are needed for industry or government, unlike where you are living now.
Get up every morning just as early as if you had a job. Get dressed and go out into your town every day. Ask for work at every store, business, or organization. Walk down every street. Take any work that is offered to you, even if it is not in your area of expertise. Being faithful to that job can open doors to something better. One of our sons couldn’t find work, so he started parking cars at an office building. Soon he made friends with a doctor whose car he parked every day. The doctor liked our son and soon hired him to work in his medical office. In that office he received training to do computer work, and eventually he worked up to being a manager of a large office more than a thousand miles away. It would have never happened if he had not been willing to park cars.
If you have a personal relationship with Christ, you can pray each morning and ask Him to guide you. But if you haven’t yet made Christ your Savior, don’t wait another day! Invite Him to be your Savior and your Guide.
We wish you well,
1 Pr 12:22