I’m a twenty-eight-year-old woman, and I had a boyfriend for five years. However, after that, he tricked me, and less than a month later he was already with another girl. He is still with her.

I have fought to let him go in my heart, but I have a lot of fear that, because of my age, I will never have the chance to get married.

About a month ago, my ex-boyfriend called me, saying that he loves me, and asking me to give him more time, because he’s going to come back to me. But during the time that we’ve spent together, I’ve noticed that he has ulterior motives. He asks me for money, he has asked me to buy expensive things for him, and in order to make him happy, I have given him what he wanted. I have begged God to help me get out of this, but it feels like God is not listening to me anymore.

Dear Friend,

You say that you feel like God isn’t listening to you anymore. If He were listening, what would be different? What do you want God to do for you in this situation?

Do you want God to instantly turn the opportunistic, cheating, lying guy into your handsome prince so that he would make a good husband for you? The problem with that wish is that God will not force that guy into being honorable. God created each one of us with free will, so your ex-boyfriend gets to choose to be a deceiver. If you believe that he will change without wanting or accepting God’s help, then he has succeeded in deceiving you completely, for God will only change a person who wants to change.

Do you, therefore, want God to turn back the clock so that you would not have wasted five precious years of your life on a loser? Unfortunately each one of us has to live with the consequences of our decisions. There were probably many danger signs warning you of the questionable character of this guy, but you chose to ignore those signs, and now five years are gone.

The worst thing that any woman can do is live in fear of being alone. That fear is a negative emotion that will only grow as you dwell on it. It will cause you to make foolish decisions and to then have to suffer the consequences. Take the time to read the cases on our website from dozens of women who married the wrong man. Their misery and suffering, along with their emotional loneliness, would not be a positive exchange for your current situation.

So instead of concentrating your efforts on finding a husband, change your focus. Put effort into finding needy children and adults who can benefit from the love you have to give. Concentrate on cultivating meaningful relationships to fill your life with joy. Ask God to be your best friend and to help you fit into His perfect plan for your life. If you are sincere, He will listen to you and He will answer.

We wish you well,